Lifestream
February 2nd |
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Telling comedy-type jokes at the Ice House in Pasadena. 10 tonight. Come high five me before, during, and after my set.
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February 1st |
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Just put on my tube socks. Watch out, PlayPlace! #getit
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The Descendants was so unrealistic! Who would cheat on the scrumptious George Clooney?
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January 29th |
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Oh hey awesome an email oh it's the one I sent myself 3 seconds ago.
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January 24th |
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Doing an hour at @salemstate Tuesday night. 7pm in the Campus Center. Comedic mayhem followed by downtown burgers. Who's in? #jokes #beef
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January 22nd |
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This improv show is so bad I'm considering drinking one of the candles.
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January 20th |
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January 19th |
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This calls for a Follow Thursday. RT @justinshanes: This is either a cat or a SUPER easy "Magic Eye."
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January 18th |
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WHAT'S UP WITH SEATBELTS YOU GUYS AM I RIGHT LOLZERS
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In protest of SOPA, all of my tweets for the next 24 hours will be super unfunny.
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January 17th |
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BoA mainframe is down. Maybe the bonus-receiving execs can just send me the $375 I need to buy this crappy used MacBook off Craigslist?
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January 14th |
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.@LargoLosAngeles cleverly starts their shows far later than they say they will, cause hipsters are too cool to show up on time.
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"Do you have any donuts that taste like sporting goods? You do??" http://t.co/9NmbrDqN
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January 10th |
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Increasing smartphone usage has lead to plenty of deadly car accidents, but come on, general fingernail cleanliness has skyrocketed.
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January 7th |
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Honey ham if they were one arm pushups. RT @karlhess: cool i did 13 pushups so now i can eat 13 pieces of ham. i know how health works.
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Still waiting to meet a hot girl named Roz. #roztweets
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January 6th |
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Just shared @thelaughfactory's killer stage with the lovely @melissavpees. She is funny and sweet as pie. Follow her for delightfulness.
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